Ashamed 2 ask 4 help & now too late! Terminal child & little income any suggestions?

[happynhopeful2000]

Hi everyone. I found your groups through a search. I am a mother of two children & I am in desperate need of assistance for Christmas. I was a bit hesitant to ask for help & especially this early for a couple of reasons. I felt that with Christmas being two months away, that something may turn my situation around but I am terrified that if I wait, it will be too late. Secondly, my family fell into a bad situation a few years back & we were blessed to have received the help we needed. We have always been blessed in the past & have never had to ask for help until a couple of years ago when I found out my little girl had a terminal illness. I was forced from my job to care for her & things went down hill from there. Living in a small area, there was no help other than food help. The larger city near us had toys for tots but it is over an hour away & I had waited too late for sign up. The last couple of years things began to look up for us so I never anticipated needing help again. I was horrified having to ask for help then & even more ashamed now. I feel embarrassed to ask for help again but this year is worse than the one a few years ago . I don't want to go into my life story here so I will be as breif as possible. As I said, I was forced from my job unexpectedly when my little one was diagnosed as terminal. Things became really bad when my husband was diagnosed with a chronic disease & was forced from work himself. We have signed up for help with ss but he has been turned down due to age. Things became harder but I was picking up childcare & cleaning jobs that I could do with my daughter & trying to sell what I could on yahoo groups. Although barely, we were getting by. On top of this, we have had to travel often to doctors out of state which has really been hard. She has insurance to cover the medical portion, but we have to pay the gas & other expenses ourselves. We had managed to keep things up until April of this year & things started falling apart. I lost two of my cleaning jobs when the elderly ladies passed. I still have two but they don’t begin to cover things. Every sent I get goes towards our living expenses & when I have fell behnd, I have sold whatever I can to get by & not ask for help. I had hoped something would come along, but it hasn’t & I don’t know what else to do. I am not lazy or someone who wants a hand out. I am so ashamed of asking but I don’t want my children being hurt because I can’t provide. We have always worked & provided with no help from anyone until all of this hit. I would get a loan to avoid asking for help but honestly, I have bad credit due to the past situations & loads of medical bills from all of my family. I know that it looks horrible that I had help for Christmas a few years ago & here I am asking again, but please understand that this is only the second time in my life that I have had to rely on Christmas charity & it is because I don’t know of anything else at this point. I didn’t just count on posting for help & doing nothing to help myself. I have tried all else before humilating myself by asking for help. I would never be asking for help especially after receiving help a few years ago if I thought there was any other way. I thank God every day for the help then & have never forgotten it! If anyone can suggest any other way, I am open. If anyone has any used toys in good condition or toys for a very low price I can handle that too. If anyone can help any, I would be willing to repay over time. I’m sure you hear that often, but I am not an evil or dishonest person. I honestly need a hand up, not a hand out. My little girl is 10 & my son is 17. I have solid proof of all I have said & I am more than happy to provide it immediately, to anyone who requests it or answer any questions anyone may have. I also have a hospital site for my daughter so you can read all about her illness & situation. I will be happy to provide the address to you if requested. I just don’t want to post it publicly for security reasons & with her being a little girl. I thank you so much for reading this & would deeply appreciate any suggestions. God bless you all & thanks. Tina